A Letter About The Ride-2006

May 1, 2006

Dear Family and Friends:

It has been almost a year and a half since I made the decision to sell my home in Sacramento and move to Santa Cruz de Tenerife in Spain. What a ride it has been!!!!!! Looking back on all that has transpired during this time I can´t believe that I found the cojones to sell everything and move to a country where I thought I knew the language. That said, I am still in the process of taking more and more Spanish classes so that I can become totally fluent and hopefully to be able to do business in Spanish. My goals in moving here were to become fluent in Spanish and find the time to actually do some oil paintings for myself instead of the commercial type of work that I had done in the past.

Challenges: October 8, 2004, upon arrival in Tenerife I discovered that my relationship with a male friend was not to be as advertised, and I found myself at a lost and madly searching for answers to his peculiar behavior. However, as I believe that there is a reason for everything, it was my first Spanish blessing in the disguise of a huge heartache. I immediately rented an apartment, rented a car so that I could travel to the local IKEA, bought furniture as I arrived in Tenerife with only 2 suitcases, and started to arrange my new nest. For me it was the first time that I had made decisions based on what I wanted to do. They were not based on what would be great for my children, and I have to admit it was a wonderful learning experience to accept the responsibility for all of my decision. I can no longer say, well I had to do that for Jamie or Ryan. Oh my God, I think that I am becoming an adult!!!!!! I am finding strengths that I never knew existed.

More confusion: In November of 2004 I was to learn that my nephew, my ex-sister-in-law´s son, was killed in Iraq. Although I had lost direct contact with him after my divorce from his uncle, my boys, who were close in age, also suffered an amazing lost of their cousin.  They both loved and admired him greatly. This young man, JP, was an exceptional person on so many levels. My heart hurts for his family and my ex-sister-in-law, we had been pregnant at the same time, and for me as a mother, this could only be a mother´s greatest nightmare.

My confusion was immense; do I return to the US, what if I lost one of my sons, what the hell am I doing in Spain? Through many nights turned into mornings and liters of Spanish Rioja, I decided to light a candle in the Catedral de San Francisco for my nephew JP and to ask the Virgen for an answer and let go of my quest to control my life.

The blessing begins: a phone call, from a friend exponentially removed 700 times, included an invitation to a dinner for Acciones de Gracia; a.k.a.,Thanksgiving. Sure, I could bring some wine, but do I have to share it? After all, life had become TOTALLY about me realizing how victimized I had been by life. An introduction, a smile, a kiss on the cheek, a Spanish woman trying desperately to communicate with me in English, a turkey in Spain like a hamburger in India, the impossible was happening. I was beginning to find my place in Spain, I was beginning to move with the flow of this lifestyle, and I was finally beginning to understand that the most important things I have are choices. The choice to bury myself in the depression of all the things that had not happened in my life or the choice to move through the pain and embrace the opportunity of my lifetime, to live and learn in this beautiful country.

Obviously, I chose to stay and the ride continues. I have started teaching business english classes to international companies here in Spain and also at the Oficial Escuela de Idioma. Through these experiences I have met an amazing cluster of people from all over the world. Sharing their experiences with me has taught me that we are all the same. We are all looking for the same things; a good life, a loving partner, children, and a meaningful career. To quote John Lennon and the Apostle Paul, ¨all there is, is love.¨ Many of you through hours of long telephone conversations knew about my turmoil while it was happening and I am truly blessed to have had your love, confidence, and advice during this time.

On the Home Front: I am looking into the possibilities of moving to either the northern side of the island or perhaps Barcelona.

Job: Exploring working in mainland Spain at an English summer camp for 2 months.

Men: Have met many wonderful Spanish caballeros, and look forward to meeting even more!!!

I am so grateful for this experience and for my supporting friends and family. The journey continues, and continues, and continues.

Love, Besos, and Abrazos,

Linda